Hello there! I don't know if the people who used to watch me still watch me anymore. It's been such a long time that I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot about me, and that's okay.
It's been a really, really long time since I've posted much of anything. I checked - the last thing I posted before posting my current ID was from 2014, haha. And it was the dumb prank thing, so I guess I haven't officially added anything since 2013.
I think I really stopped uploading once I got to college. I had been at college from Fall 2011 to Spring 2015, when I graduated. Over those four years, a lot had happened and a lot had changed about me and my world. I was an animation major, and I think having art assignments shoved down my throat really discouraged me from doing personal work. I used to work at my school's bookstore, and I would sometimes draw requests for customers, if they asked for it with their books. I drew things for my friends. I took a few team-based game development classes and had to crank out art for our projects. Looking back on it, I should have continued my personal work as an outlet to keep hold of who I was. Instead I decided to just put it aside and deal with it later. But when you do that, you feel your intentions changing and your motivation waning.
I found myself dreaming a lot. About the things I'd do and the art I'd make, and justifying it with 'someday'.
And I realized that for someone who 'will deal with it later' someday will never come. I'm still working out some things, and I'm still reconciling some issues. Like feeling like I'm not good enough. Dealing with the pressure of competition. Seeking out my own motivation instead of seeking it from others.
I'm not where I wanted to be, and while I know that's okay, it doesn't truly feel okay because of the expectations I've put on myself. I'm dealing with making my dreams a reality, and the path is harder to follow than I thought, but I know I'll get there if I stay determined. I know I will.
So I'm going to clean up my DA, pull it together, and do what I used to love doing most: making art.